From rdwm...

"If brute force fails, then you haven't used enough."
Permanent link: http://qotd.us/3A4A
(Source: rdwm)

From Offensive Fortunes (FreeBSD)...

A man's father is very, very old, and the son can't afford very good treatment
for him, so he's in a rather shabby, run-down nursing home.  One day the son
wins a lottery -- and the first thing he does is install his father in the best
old age home that money can buy.
	On the first day the old man is sitting watching TV, and he starts
to lean a little bit to one side.  Right away a nurse runs over and gently
straightens the old man.  A little later he's eating dinner, and when he
finishes, he begins to tip a little bit to one side.  Another nurse runs
over and gently pushes him upright again.
	The son visits his father later that evening and asks him how he's
being treated.
	"It's a wonderful place, son," replies the father.  "I really like
it here, gourmet food, color TV's in every room, the service is unbelievable,
there's just one little problem."
	"What's that, Dad?"
	"They won't let you fart."
Permanent link: http://qotd.us/317A

From zippy...

How's the wife?  Is she at home enjoying capitalism?
Permanent link: http://qotd.us/477A
(Source: zippy)